Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Germany's Assault on Love ... sort of.

I saw a headline today indicating that Germany will soon ban animal sex. I will have to assume they mean humans having sex with animals, because the headline didn't specify and I couldn't be bothered to read the actual article. For all I know there's been an outbreak of over-stimulated cows having their way with hippos, or donkeys, or whatever they eat over there - and Germany's just had enough!

Now, I - thankfully - have never had a reason to brush up on my United States federal or state laws regarding sex with animals, but  how really, really rampant must this be in Germany for them to officially ban it? And, seriously, it's not wrong enough in its own right? It requires government notification - like there's some "gray area" here where people are confused as to whether having your way with a goat is actually disgusting and weird and requires anyone who catches you to kick the shit out of you? It's like demanding the government officially tell you that no, you are banned from brushing your teeth with dog turds. Some things you just ... you just have to know.

Of course, for all I know, it's officially banned here as well by numerous laws and for all the same reasons. But for the sake of pointing and laughing at another country, I'll assume it isn't. (Isn't assuming fun??)

Now, part of me says, "Hey - who are you to judge where people find love?" Hahaha - no, I'm kidding. None of me says that. Me says, "I'll judge these perverts all I want because I'm a guy who looks at a pig and thinks "breakfast!" not, "I wonder if she'll cook me breakfast in the morning."